How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
