i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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