A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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