What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
