I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
