You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They took my balls.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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