Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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