she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
