I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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