The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
