the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
