No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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