put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
