dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
