woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
