Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
