If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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