i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
