eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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