I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
