batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
