Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
