your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
