MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
