Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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