Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
