Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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