I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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