You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
