He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
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Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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