If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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