You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
