Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
