I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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