first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
