You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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