let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
