Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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