I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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