Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
