is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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