She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
