Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
