They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
