I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
