Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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