Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
