thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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