She's JV to your varsity
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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