just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize