He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
