I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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