Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
