I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe