i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
