speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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