the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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