let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
