I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
