I look better un-naked...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
