Moan for me like Helen Keller
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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